India (does not) need Reservations

We urgently need reservations? If so, here's the wish list.

• The Olympic Council, should allocate One-Fifth of all Gold, Silver and Bronze medals to India; we are One-Fifth humanity after all. And historically India was enslaved by Britishers therefore not allowing indian sports to develop to its potential. No, we don't need better sports facilities, we dont need good sports administrators (No Way!) - we need the medals reserved for us. Come on guys, don't start the argument of merit. Olympics are not about who can run or swim the fastest. It is a great world event, and everything should be distributed equally.
• United Nations should ensure that one-fifth of all the worlds trade be handled in India. No, we dont need better economy, we dont need good manufacturing industries, or excellent agriculture (No Way!). We want the WTO to get One-Fifth of all trade to india as a rule. India was a rich and bright nation in the past, but outside people came and took away what we had. Those historical events need to be balance out right now.
• USA, is doing grave injustice to us. It has the best educational institutes of the world, where the most competent study and teach and do research. This is not fair. One-Fifth of all the seats in top educational institutes (particularly Harvard and Stanford) should be reserved for Indians (appropriate provisions for sub-reservations within it should be made too). No, we don't want better educational institutes in our country, neither do we want to improve our educational system so that we are a confident, educated nation. We want those seats that others are having elsewhere.

God save my country from the clutches of ugly Politicians.